Why we need a mentor ?

Any child who is born on this earth is like a plain slate. This slate is un programmed. the child does not understand Hindu, Muslim, Rape, violence, Mother Father etc.We only teach them or program them.. the child learns what is taught to them..

 A Child copies their hero's performance.For Pre- school child the Mother is the hero. For a school going child their teacher is the hero.For a College Going child their Class  mates are the hero. For present generation who are born with internet They keep on discovering their hero's

 Every child requires examples The child looks for lot of examples in their hero's. when that hero start working with them and guiding them. they become their mentor In my case my mother was my first mentor. My wife is my second mentor,let me give a little of my background.

I am a faculty for Mentor training programme, in many organisation.i have pioneered mentoring for a major public sector in India.The best example i can give is  from my own life,How mentor impacted  my own life.My wife played a major role in my life, the moment she came into my life she sensed i have passion for learning and sharing, she has sponsored me for a majority of learning programmes

To mention a few 1 Stephen Coveys programe. 2 NLP 3 PhD 3 Ms Counselling 4 EdwardDe Bono Creativity 5 EFT 6 TLT 7 Silva Mind Control etc 8 Coaching (ACC) 9 HRD Psychometric tools 10 FIROB If she is not there in my life, i woud have missed a vital part of my Quality Life.

Thanks to my wife , As a token of this use a film clipping to drive home this point in my major seminars on mentoring. this is no doubt in telugu language. this conveys the message of love and concern of a mentor to men tee

Difference between a "Mentor ", " Coach" and "Counselor"

                                        A mentor is "Person" focused " ,            

A mentor is a Guide,adviser  and well wisher and an over all developer

 Coaching is "Skill" focused",  A coach focuses on taking the person into a bright future, by developing appropriate skills

  

Counselling is "Grievance" focused

 A counselor focuses on pulling the person from a past  stuck up situation into the current present

Indian Vedic culture talks of  three important roles for the development of a good character in a child.as "Matru devo bhava, Pitru devo bhava and Acharya devo bhava . This Sanskrit phrase emphasis    the role of a mother , father and well wisher as very important.in  molding the character of any person in the society . A mother's is always available when the child is suffering ,A father  is available for teaching any skills like cycling,swimming etc. (Indian  society a father is performance focused) ,A teacher is avilable for the overall development of the child,. A mother role can be interpreted as a "counselor" role,A father's Role  can be interpreted as a "Coach"  Role  and a Teachers  role can be interpreted as a mentor role

Coaching case 001/ Improvement over 7 EQ Coaching/ Mentoring sessions

Session1 ----( june 20th 2010)

Mr Naveen shared around ten painful points of his childhood from class 1 to class 8 th) were  he was scolded in house by his parents and  by teachers in the school for his funny activities. 

Session2---     -- (July2 nd  2010)

 Mr Naveen was asked to identify and process, his highly organised Logical thought and Emotional thoughts.

Session3 ( july 10 th 2010) 

He was asked to identify a few thoughts and report the observation an EQ coaching format (Visualization, Audio, Feeling)

Sesion 4 ( jluy 12 th 2010) 

(Below,i his email : A very deep introspection and working on himself)

Hi,  

The morning after the Tuesday's session, as I woke up I felt very scared [10/10].

 I didn't know why I was feeling like that. Then I wrote about 'why do i want to change my job' on a notebook. Then I felt little relaxed. And I thought that I have to have some worry in my head otherwise it's even more scary. Then, I went to the office. During the tea break, I sat with my friends, I felt as if they are strangers and it was feeling scary. I could say nothing on my own. They only talked to me, on which I could give some comments(as I always do)  Later, during another tea break, I got the chance to sit a familiar male colleague, who does not belong to our tea-time group. We had some office related chitchat. When office related discussion was over there was a vacuum, nobody could talk to each other. After wandering for sometime what to talk and found nothing, we dispersed. And then I realized that my inability to relate is not only with girls but with everybody.In the evening, when I came back home, I did the tapping exercise for the 'fear' feeling. After the exercise the fear feeling was [5/10].

Sesssion  5------------- (Aug 5 th 2010)/   An update  Hi Dr Sunderam, 

 I just wanted to update you on my present state. I feel as if I can’t speak emotionally. I don’t know why? But many of the times I see myself emotionally confused. Most of the time, I can’t decipher other’s emotion when they speak. Myself speaking emotionally is almost nil. I feel like I am in a lost world. Other’s imagination is so vivid. One keeps up bringing up something to speak on and on. Whereas, in my case, My  ability will be so poor that nothing will come out automatically. Even if I choose to speak something after a lot of preparation, I won’t be able to speak as I will either forget or speak in way that will make the thing non relevant to the people.

 Session 6 --------------- ( Aug 9 th2010)------ EQ at work (This is a poetic  essay on washing machine:)"Washing machine, u r white. You have a medium height. You have wheels, so I can take you to any place, where you want. By the way, I have put you in a place which is best for you. I have put you in place which is best for you. I have put you at the balcony where I can feed you with water, where you can easily drain your water. 

             You have so many buttons with you. You make my life complicated. You make me wander with your buttons. In-spite of this, you make my life easy. After programming, you become automatic. You wash my cloths within few minutes. You have served me very well since the time I had brought you in my home. That is why I like you. I want you to keep serving me like this. I am afraid that after serving for long time you would go bad and start giving me troubles. But never mind, I will try my best to repair you when needed. For the time being, I thank you for washing my clothes and the clothes of my mom and my brothers."

Session  7 --------------( 16 th August 2010)---  -Progress Report

Thirty two year old Mr Navin working as a Project lead in an MNC ,came for relationship coaching, with disturbed emotional relationship. Cant relate to female colleagues. Cant get along with boss , mother centered, because loves his mother very much, not yet married.

Session 1 to session  7 (improvement in 0 to 10 scale)

The coachee came up with the following point for improvement after using some executive/Emotional Coach inventory.        
           (session1 on june 9 th 2010)            (session 7 onAug 16 th 2010)

1 over imagination fantasy------7---------------------------2 

2 Mother fixation------------------6----------------------------4

3 Cant express emotion---------7---------------------------5

4 what to change a job----------8----------------------------9

5 Ability to concentration suffers-----8/10--------------- 7 

6 Not able cope up stress------minus8-------------------5/

7 Feel become sanyasi---------5-------------------------0/10m

( Mr Naveen wants to enjoy life now ) (A  minute ago i talked to my client and noted his improvment ratings )

What coaches can do for You ? HBR review

The above article  was published based on a survey with 140 coaches on how coaching works in an organisations. the following is the  six point report.

1. The No 1 reason for coaches gets engaged are for performance improvement of the executives

2 The cost of a coach varies from $200 and above

3 Coaches are hired for official issues and helped in personal issues also

5Organisation looks for coach certification and also psychological training in the Coach before hiring their services.

6 Mostly coaching relationship is initiated by HR group, followed by the reporting officer

Who is a coach?& Who is a mentor ?

Coach is skilled person who focuses on performance ,works towards performance improvement and helps the individual to achieve the performance satisfaction. Coach is a person who focuses on a product.

The main aim of the Coach is to Impart the skill in   the individual. he focuses mainly on the professional front.

Mentor is person who shares his wisdom and knowledge, mostly helps in the process of becoming a holistic person.The mentor focuses on the work life balance of the individual

For the healthy up bringing of a child the role of mother and father is very essential. Similarly in an organisation for shortening the learning curve and accelerating the new entrant into the organisation culture, the role of both the boss and a well wisher is very essential., while the boss focuses on the work performance, The  mentor focuses on the non professional areas of improvement

Learn NLP ---- How to Run Your brain ?---- Lesson-001

RUN Ur Brain

What  is NLP ?

NLP is a subjective science. Like any other subjective science this  has to be defined in different ways to understand the concept

The term NLP if expanded means N---> Neuro (Mind), L-->(Lnaguage of the Mind) P--> programing(Psychology) In other words "Mind Language Psychology" NLP is called the software of the human Mind. If one considers the Human brain as the hardware, NLP can be considered as the software of the brain

Neuro can be considered as a bundle of nerves,  this is also  referring to the Human brain, L is the language of processing through five senses, P refers to the product outcome.NLP is a subjective science of Mind body Emotions. An NLP Practitioner can code , decode and encode the subjective experience.NLP is the process of  scientifically understanding and directing the Conscious and subconscious mind for a specific behavior. Any student of NLP can run his own brain

NLP is used by most of th fortune 500 companies  through out the world past 30 years for Training, Teaching Therapy, Counseling, Coaching, Psychotherapy, Mentoring