E mentors, A concept beyond, barriers and boundaries

e Mentor  provides secure  mentoring for young and vulnerable people through email, mobile, internet, telephone and any electronic media this is primary designed to:

• Protect the mentee
• Be easily accessible
• Be powerful yet simple
• Reduce coordinators' work
• Be easily incorporated with face to face mentoring
• Record all that happens
• Be secure
• Encrypt recorded data and real e-mail addresses
• Text the mentee when they have an e-mail  or any electronic device
• Produce statistics

The key strengths of e Mentor  lie in its flexibility. There are a large number of configurable options that can be used to tailor the system to your needs. eMentor Pro is used both to complement face to face mentoring but also can be used as a stand-alone solution.

eMentor Pro has been designed around the protection of the mentee. 

Every organisation can have an e-portal which helps in harnessing the leverage of the organisational brain for its young talents

clue from the above clip 

Why we need a mentor ?

Any child who is born on this earth is like a plain slate. This slate is un programmed. the child does not understand Hindu, Muslim, Rape, violence, Mother Father etc.We only teach them or program them.. the child learns what is taught to them..

 A Child copies their hero's performance.For Pre- school child the Mother is the hero. For a school going child their teacher is the hero.For a College Going child their Class  mates are the hero. For present generation who are born with internet They keep on discovering their hero's

 Every child requires examples The child looks for lot of examples in their hero's. when that hero start working with them and guiding them. they become their mentor In my case my mother was my first mentor. My wife is my second mentor,let me give a little of my background.

I am a faculty for Mentor training programme, in many organisation.i have pioneered mentoring for a major public sector in India.The best example i can give is  from my own life,How mentor impacted  my own life.My wife played a major role in my life, the moment she came into my life she sensed i have passion for learning and sharing, she has sponsored me for a majority of learning programmes

To mention a few 1 Stephen Coveys programe. 2 NLP 3 PhD 3 Ms Counselling 4 EdwardDe Bono Creativity 5 EFT 6 TLT 7 Silva Mind Control etc 8 Coaching (ACC) 9 HRD Psychometric tools 10 FIROB If she is not there in my life, i woud have missed a vital part of my Quality Life.

Thanks to my wife , As a token of this use a film clipping to drive home this point in my major seminars on mentoring. this is no doubt in telugu language. this conveys the message of love and concern of a mentor to men tee

Difference between a "Mentor ", " Coach" and "Counselor"

                                        A mentor is "Person" focused " ,            

A mentor is a Guide,adviser  and well wisher and an over all developer

 Coaching is "Skill" focused",  A coach focuses on taking the person into a bright future, by developing appropriate skills

  

Counselling is "Grievance" focused

 A counselor focuses on pulling the person from a past  stuck up situation into the current present

Indian Vedic culture talks of  three important roles for the development of a good character in a child.as "Matru devo bhava, Pitru devo bhava and Acharya devo bhava . This Sanskrit phrase emphasis    the role of a mother , father and well wisher as very important.in  molding the character of any person in the society . A mother's is always available when the child is suffering ,A father  is available for teaching any skills like cycling,swimming etc. (Indian  society a father is performance focused) ,A teacher is avilable for the overall development of the child,. A mother role can be interpreted as a "counselor" role,A father's Role  can be interpreted as a "Coach"  Role  and a Teachers  role can be interpreted as a mentor role

Coaching case 001/ Improvement over 7 EQ Coaching/ Mentoring sessions

Session1 ----( june 20th 2010)

Mr Naveen shared around ten painful points of his childhood from class 1 to class 8 th) were  he was scolded in house by his parents and  by teachers in the school for his funny activities. 

Session2---     -- (July2 nd  2010)

 Mr Naveen was asked to identify and process, his highly organised Logical thought and Emotional thoughts.

Session3 ( july 10 th 2010) 

He was asked to identify a few thoughts and report the observation an EQ coaching format (Visualization, Audio, Feeling)

Sesion 4 ( jluy 12 th 2010) 

(Below,i his email : A very deep introspection and working on himself)

Hi,  

The morning after the Tuesday's session, as I woke up I felt very scared [10/10].

 I didn't know why I was feeling like that. Then I wrote about 'why do i want to change my job' on a notebook. Then I felt little relaxed. And I thought that I have to have some worry in my head otherwise it's even more scary. Then, I went to the office. During the tea break, I sat with my friends, I felt as if they are strangers and it was feeling scary. I could say nothing on my own. They only talked to me, on which I could give some comments(as I always do)  Later, during another tea break, I got the chance to sit a familiar male colleague, who does not belong to our tea-time group. We had some office related chitchat. When office related discussion was over there was a vacuum, nobody could talk to each other. After wandering for sometime what to talk and found nothing, we dispersed. And then I realized that my inability to relate is not only with girls but with everybody.In the evening, when I came back home, I did the tapping exercise for the 'fear' feeling. After the exercise the fear feeling was [5/10].

Sesssion  5------------- (Aug 5 th 2010)/   An update  Hi Dr Sunderam, 

 I just wanted to update you on my present state. I feel as if I can’t speak emotionally. I don’t know why? But many of the times I see myself emotionally confused. Most of the time, I can’t decipher other’s emotion when they speak. Myself speaking emotionally is almost nil. I feel like I am in a lost world. Other’s imagination is so vivid. One keeps up bringing up something to speak on and on. Whereas, in my case, My  ability will be so poor that nothing will come out automatically. Even if I choose to speak something after a lot of preparation, I won’t be able to speak as I will either forget or speak in way that will make the thing non relevant to the people.

 Session 6 --------------- ( Aug 9 th2010)------ EQ at work (This is a poetic  essay on washing machine:)"Washing machine, u r white. You have a medium height. You have wheels, so I can take you to any place, where you want. By the way, I have put you in a place which is best for you. I have put you in place which is best for you. I have put you at the balcony where I can feed you with water, where you can easily drain your water. 

             You have so many buttons with you. You make my life complicated. You make me wander with your buttons. In-spite of this, you make my life easy. After programming, you become automatic. You wash my cloths within few minutes. You have served me very well since the time I had brought you in my home. That is why I like you. I want you to keep serving me like this. I am afraid that after serving for long time you would go bad and start giving me troubles. But never mind, I will try my best to repair you when needed. For the time being, I thank you for washing my clothes and the clothes of my mom and my brothers."

Session  7 --------------( 16 th August 2010)---  -Progress Report

Thirty two year old Mr Navin working as a Project lead in an MNC ,came for relationship coaching, with disturbed emotional relationship. Cant relate to female colleagues. Cant get along with boss , mother centered, because loves his mother very much, not yet married.

Session 1 to session  7 (improvement in 0 to 10 scale)

The coachee came up with the following point for improvement after using some executive/Emotional Coach inventory.        
           (session1 on june 9 th 2010)            (session 7 onAug 16 th 2010)

1 over imagination fantasy------7---------------------------2 

2 Mother fixation------------------6----------------------------4

3 Cant express emotion---------7---------------------------5

4 what to change a job----------8----------------------------9

5 Ability to concentration suffers-----8/10--------------- 7 

6 Not able cope up stress------minus8-------------------5/

7 Feel become sanyasi---------5-------------------------0/10m

( Mr Naveen wants to enjoy life now ) (A  minute ago i talked to my client and noted his improvment ratings )

What coaches can do for You ? HBR review

The above article  was published based on a survey with 140 coaches on how coaching works in an organisations. the following is the  six point report.

1. The No 1 reason for coaches gets engaged are for performance improvement of the executives

2 The cost of a coach varies from $200 and above

3 Coaches are hired for official issues and helped in personal issues also

5Organisation looks for coach certification and also psychological training in the Coach before hiring their services.

6 Mostly coaching relationship is initiated by HR group, followed by the reporting officer

Who is a coach?& Who is a mentor ?

Coach is skilled person who focuses on performance ,works towards performance improvement and helps the individual to achieve the performance satisfaction. Coach is a person who focuses on a product.

The main aim of the Coach is to Impart the skill in   the individual. he focuses mainly on the professional front.

Mentor is person who shares his wisdom and knowledge, mostly helps in the process of becoming a holistic person.The mentor focuses on the work life balance of the individual

For the healthy up bringing of a child the role of mother and father is very essential. Similarly in an organisation for shortening the learning curve and accelerating the new entrant into the organisation culture, the role of both the boss and a well wisher is very essential., while the boss focuses on the work performance, The  mentor focuses on the non professional areas of improvement

Learn NLP ---- How to Run Your brain ?---- Lesson-001

RUN Ur Brain

What  is NLP ?

NLP is a subjective science. Like any other subjective science this  has to be defined in different ways to understand the concept

The term NLP if expanded means N---> Neuro (Mind), L-->(Lnaguage of the Mind) P--> programing(Psychology) In other words "Mind Language Psychology" NLP is called the software of the human Mind. If one considers the Human brain as the hardware, NLP can be considered as the software of the brain

Neuro can be considered as a bundle of nerves,  this is also  referring to the Human brain, L is the language of processing through five senses, P refers to the product outcome.NLP is a subjective science of Mind body Emotions. An NLP Practitioner can code , decode and encode the subjective experience.NLP is the process of  scientifically understanding and directing the Conscious and subconscious mind for a specific behavior. Any student of NLP can run his own brain

NLP is used by most of th fortune 500 companies  through out the world past 30 years for Training, Teaching Therapy, Counseling, Coaching, Psychotherapy, Mentoring

Mentoring Pitfall- No-1 --------Mismatch of mentor pairs

Organisations does not advertise  their failures. organisations always talk of best practice not best failure.One of the main reasons were organisational mentoring  system fail is improper mentoring pairing, . In order to blindly benchmark certain practices I have seen organisation  introduce mentoring scheme in the morning and wound up in the  evening. 

Many organisations has introduced Mentoring system in its sincere attempt to minimize the learning curve for the new entrants. Many a mentoring pairs are formed without proper home  work by the HR department. If the mentoring pairs (mentor and men tee)are  not assessed for matching , the improper mentoring pair works like a virus in the system and this leads to the collapse of the mentoring system.

A leading manufacturing organisation uses DISC (Dominant ,Influence, Steady, Compliance) psychological test to match the mentoring pair (before its formation and formal training)DISC is the four quadrant behavioral model based on the work of William Moulton Marston PhD (1893–1947) to examine the behavior of individuals in their environment or within a specific situation (otherwise known as environment). It therefore focuses on the styles and preferences of such behavior.According to this school There are  two types of behavior 1)Task fcoused behaviour 2) Relationship Focused behavior. I generally use the following clipping in my mentoring training Programme, to drive home this points.

This is clipping from Hindi Move "Munnabahi MBBS " a scene were Hari prasad Sharam (Sunill dutt) a relationship focused person looks for relationship. and Dr Asthana (Booman Irani) looks at the task focus.

Affter seeing the clipping Could you please tell me  who can mentor whom ? who can become  mentor to whom? Can Dr Asthan mentor Hari prasad or vice versa?

Pygmalion Management-The basis for Mentoring

In Greek mythology, Pygmalion, the King of Cyprus, fell in love with the statue of a beautiful woman. He prayed to the goddess, Aphrodite, for a wife just like his statue, whereupon the goddess transformed the statue into a real woman whom Pygmalion then married. the women was called Galeta.

     Sterling Livingston in the September/October, 1988 Harvard Business Review. wrote "The way managers treat their subordinates is subtly influenced by what they expect of them," Livingston said in his article, Pygmalion in Management. 

         Pygmalion in management talks about expectations of the manager.If one manger  expects above average performance from his subordinate he gets the same. The vice versa is also true

Instant mentor

Mentoring is a relationship between a senior called Mentor, with wisdom and knowledge who passes it on to a junior, called mentee. This mentor pairs if made in the organization can accelerate the growth of the mentee fast into into the organization culture. The learning curve gets shortened.

Have you observed when two brothers or sisters who grow up together as bed mates.Who is more smarter the elder one or younger one.? obviously the younger one.

A little common sense psychology gives you the answer The elder learns or copies the behavior of his parents with lot of caution, hesitation and rejections. The younger one without hesitation copies the behavior smartly, because he has a buddy mentor , The younger one has his brother or sister who works as an instant mentor, clarifying lot of doubt and protecting him from unwanted behavior. This instant mentor passes on his knowledge and wisdom which shapes the behavior of the younger one.

Types of Human Resource Training

Basically Human Resource Training are imparted under two methods: 1. Group training 2. One to one Training. Mostly the group training is conducted in classroom atmosphere. one to one training is conducted face to face

Broadly there are three types of one to one Hr interventions. they are mentioned as follows:

1. Mentoring: mostly an advisorory role to transfer knowledge and wisdom to the younger one.

2. Coaching: mostly future focused, performance improving strategy focusing on goal setting, questioning and performance measurement. 3. Counselling: Mostly a past focused helping the individual to come up from his past stuck up position to the current present position.

Life coaching :/Mentoring in action

Hi mentor                                           

I love your mentoring process as per your instruction,I tried to capture some of my thoughts and present below,My mind hijacked me for some time, a golden period of of my life i mastered wrong skills here is what i confess :

I wanted to change my job for which I should have undertaken professional course, but I did not do that. It was mostly because of my friends’ confident suggestion that I can make it on my own. Just by doing self study, I can get through, while was never doing that.

Mistake of assuming self study

I was too much into my self-interest of learning other things. In the span of 2 yrs, I did many things –

• learning about the stock market, did some investment,

• Achievement

• then got myself reading books on seduction(read it like a bible),

• Big mistake, Spent lot of time in it.

• then knowing about astrology.

• Feels good about it.

I am not sure if this is good way of putting my thoughts.

regards your mentee

Girija, Google

Counseling : Depression symptoms-

Dr Sunderam

As per our discussions i could recollect my top painful incidents of my life
1.Marriage Proposal Mahesh reject letter.This is the incident i am not able to get out of it. I do self talk imagining this family .
2. my three Fingers  Cut in train travel at 7 yrs
3. Inter marks  brother criticized,”you are burden to earth.4.Egg college admission father shouted in front of my aunt
5. shoba  shouted in front of everyone
6.revathi  criticized my walk and talk
7.12 th meena  left me.
8.Siddhartha's partner yelling
9.Siddhartha 's sister in law shouting after 2 days of 1st delivery
10.The abortion Lena keeps taunting
11. 1st time  mu hubby criticizing my complexion and dark circles
12.rahuls love letter
13. rahul's H1 reject news.
14.Father shouting during previous day of marriage
15. Doing Prayer father humiliates with aunty
16. when asked to speak out stage fear,
17.Teacher  while giving hall ticket shouted at me very badly for misplacing a document.
This is all i could recollect
Thanks
MRS Sivgami  Detroit

what are the different methods by which the above case can come out of this depression?

Reverse Mentoring

Mentoring is mothering,that is playing the role of a mother.A mentor is person on whom one can trust,one can relay and one can look for guidance. Every mythology has characters who has played messiah's role unconditionally.In indian mthology Krishna mentored Arjuna,Chanyaka mentored Chandragupta, Bram khan mentored Akbar.

If one looks at Indian Hollywood, k A Abbas mentored Amitabh bachan , Balachander mentored Kamalahasan even in the rich mans life, Bill gates is mentored by Waren buffet.

Traditional mentoring is from a senior to a junior, a senior person pases on his knowledge wisdom and learning to a junior. Most of the corporate world has accepted traditional school of mentoring . Mentoring is defined as relationship where a senior help the junior to accelerate into the organisational culture, through advise and sharing.

The corporate circles got the shock of their life, when the then chairman of GE ordered all the senior management, to get mentored through the new recruits to become an internet savvy. This was called as reverse mentoring.

Reverse mentoring is always seen in our joint family.The Grandfather learns how to operate the Tv remote, internet, cellphone through the grand sons

EQ; How to handle my Boss?

Regularly put Emotional Deposit in the heart of the boss.

Today my mentee came to me, telling i want to work more but my boss is giving full support to certian projects , partial support to some projects and casual support for some other projects. he also mentioed a few incidents for refrence.

We had a few discussions from my experience. I pointed out certain projects(competency mapping) which i did unconditionally for my boss. The project was under my boss name but the experience was mine. Now he has a high regard for me. This project is an unconditional help, i rendered to him. I have made an emotional deposit in his heart.

This is one of the way in which every subordinate can make regular tiny emotional deposits in the heart of their boss.

Mentees learning

1.Emotional quotient is very important for maintaining inter personal relationship

2.Always have emotional deposits with your bosses.

NLP Coaching

How Modelling help in Executive coaching ?

Modeling is a great strategy in NLP Coaching, Modeling means identifying the best behavior in your environment and copy the behavior.

In an executive coaching the executive was asked to identify his best behavior. he replied "best code writer in his team" he was asked to explore the environment he choose and beliefs/values that drive him to this no1 position.

Bench mark model

Environment :where? IT company
Behavior :what? Quiet, self centered,

Capability : How ? Learnt, one week ,I sat on that, practised, Took help from others, tips
Believes/Values/Identity : Why? Recognition as 'Beat code writer in the team "

He was asked to identify a behavior which he would like to choose and copy. he replied "Helping wife in vegetable cutting" he was asked to use the same model to assess the process of modeling.


Proposed model :

Environment : Where ? kitchen
Behviour : what ? Vegetable cutting
Capability : How ? Sometimes i can cook cut vegetables in the night.
Believes /values/identity : why ? Help my wife to cook in morning/ Household helper

Modelling is the heart of NLP Coaching.

EQ/EI

What is Emotional Intelligence ?

EI is using u r emotions to regulate ur logic. using ur logic to regulate ur emotions. In other words can u be Emotionally logical or Logically emotional.Can u use your   ur head to regulate ur heart. and can u use ur heart to regulate ur head.

can u sandwich of emotion and  thinking ?

A research study shows people leave the organization because they don't like their boss, not vice versa.

Coaching Case- 002

Mr Madan mishandled the Customer presentation

Mr madan the  newly joined executive of research department was asked by his boss to do  a Power point  presentation on Monday on some technical  proposal.in front of the customer representative

Mr Madan has joined the department 15 days ago,first job after completing his IIT from Roorkee.he was feeling very anxious about the work, never before he has done such a presentation. He was little worried about .He did not ask  for any help from his department. He borrowed a MS PowerPoint book from the library . the whole Sunday he prepared the contents in a presentable form. Monday morning he delivered his presentation with low confidence. He was blamed by every body for not handling Q&A session during the presentation.

He was also unhappy based on the feed back, he left office with a sad heart that he can never talk in front of the customers. he will be a failure in the department.

Coaching Points
How would you handle differently if you were stuck up in place of Mr madan
what do you think Feel and Do this time ?

	Imaginary option1	Imaginary Option 2
Think
Feel
Do

Coaching case 001

Initial session on inventory

Thirty two year old Mr Navin working as a Project lead in an MNC ,came for relationship coaching, with disturbed emotional relationship. Cant relate to female colleagues. Cant get along with boss , mother centered, because loves his mother very much, not yet married.

Session 1

The coachee came up with the following point for improvement after using some executive/Emotional Coach inventory.

1 over imagination fantasy------7

2 Mother fixation------------------6

3 Cant express emotion---------7

4 what to change a job----------8

5 Ability to concentration suffers-----8

6 Not able cope up stress------------8

7 Feel become sanyasi------------5

His wheel of improvement has the above seven spokes..

Training through movie clipping

How to bring an insight in a Training process ?

I have been conducting training programme for the past 5 years , let me share a trainers insight

on a training programme titled "How to plan your retried life'? This was for a group of Employees aged 55 years of age. Their mind set is to be prepared to face the Physical, Mental, Social , Financial and Spiritual challenges of life ? This program was becoming very popular. but in the feed back session the Employees wanted to attend the next programe with their spouses.

This was big challenge for me. I pondered over along time and to evoke a discussion which family member is right ? and why So ? I used a clipping from Hindi movie called "Baagban"

This has won all time approval during reaction level feedback

NLP ( Neuro linguistic Programming)

Many of my trainees ask me "What is NLP ?"

I say, after embrasing and pioneriing the NLP Concepts in India, and also after applying NLP therapy with Prisioners of Central jail which ultimately earned me a PhD. I have a simple but Practical definition of NLP. were N stands for"Brain". L stands for the "Brain Language" .P stands for " Psychological outcome".
In another words ,NLP means "Brain language psychology".
This science says we think in a scientific pattern, wether we want it or not we follow the scentific pattern. A specific thinking pattern leads to a paticular bheaviour style.

This science beleives thinking leads to behaviour. By Chaning the thinking pattern the bechaiviour pattern can also be changed

Even though NLP orginated in the year 1970 in US. It took 25 years to travel to India. Many organinasation are still slow in adopting this school of science, because NLP is Practitioners science..The first NLP training took place in India in the year 1997.The Cost of NLP Training is also substantialy high for traditional inidian organisation mind set.


NLP can be used for Teaching, Training, Therapy and Coaching. Many of the fortune 500 companies use NLP for their employees

Life Coaching

Whenever one feels a confusion, whenever one requires a clarity,wherever when one has many alternatives to choose, whenever one wants to travel from confusion to clarity. he needs a helping hand. An helping hand who can help him to travel a safe journey. He requires the help of Coach or mentor.

When one wants to enter a jungle for exploration. he has many options,he can go by himself, he may be lost, He can go with a travel book but he may become sick, he can go like hunter but wild animals may hunt him. but if he takes an experienced guide, he will come safely from the forest achieving his goal and misssion.

A"Coach "or "Mentor is a "one to one " trainer who goes with the pace of the client.helping him to rediscover the latter's goal. The returns are enormous if the coach is a Qualified,Accredited and experienced coach.